Chinese Original by 丧心病狂刘老湿
English Translation by ChangGuohua.com
A black bear escaped out of a zoo and snouted 30 fully armed Italian guards onto the ground before making its way onto a street, where it was thrown to the ground and smacked by a drunken Russian. The screeching black bear then ran away into a ladies’ washroom and greatly frightened the people inside: Some Japanese men jumped up and down in fright, a Thai forgot to pull up her skirt and took flight, with her dick dangling, and at the sight of this several Blacks nearby sneered.
The Chinese demanded to hold a meeting to figure out how the bear could be got out. But, the bear had broken the door’s pivots beyond repair and no one could get in. A smugly smiling German dug out an oilpaper package nearby in which spare parts and a live Bavarian engineer buried 50 years ago were found. The British thought it a good idea to cook a dinner to reward everyone for their great work. After the meal, everyone vomited, except the Dutch people who had smoked more than enough Colombian marijuana found nothing wrong with the British food.
Americans decided that these people were all useless and wanted to call for an aircraft carrier to bomb out the washroom. Europeans strongly objected, saying that it was too cruel a thing to do. The Mongolian Navy rode horses to come to rescue and was robbed on its way by Somali pirates. In great chaos, some Australian sheep sneaked into the washroom. A crowd of Big Beards followed immediately like crazy. Before everyone could figure out what was happening, Shiites and Sunnites broke into a fierce argument about who were the first to do it. After a shouting of Allahu akbar, the washroom and the bear both disappeared.
Hong Kong reporters broke the news which the Taiwanese audience firmly believed was a conspiracy by evil Commies across the Stait. The French people hired 20 Greeks to clean up the mess and were greatly impressed by and thankful for their high efficiency. Poles were annoyed that the event had not happen in Russia. Eventually, to the great amazement of everyone, a shaking bear’s paw poked out of the pile of debris: After such a huge Allahu akbar blast the bear was still alive!
South Koreans quickly announced that the bear had Korean ancestry while North Koreans claimed that the bear was an incarnation of their great Fat leader. Several Saudi rich men wanted to buy the bear as a pet while Canadians demanded to set it free. The leaders of World Religions gathered together to pray for the health and well-being of the bear and were full of praise about cow hells stewed with pig blood they ate as lunch. When no one could convince the other, an Indian zipped open the bear and a village of people got out in a procession one by one. It turned out that they had gang-raped a Swedish feminist and disguising as a bear hidden away in the zoo so that they could flee from legal punishment. Just as everyone started to find the whole thing boring, a bomb dropped and nuked out everything.
The next day, the US Department of Defense apologized that a pilot flying a carrier-based jet used an outdated map and it was a mistake.
Chinese Original by 丧心病狂刘老湿